Herald of Hope

Archbishop Rembert G. Weakland, O.S.B.

The elderly

One of the greatest treasures in our society is the large number of elderly we now have in it. This number should not be seen as a burden but as a grace. Our task is to make sure that their lives are fruitful and productive according to their capabilities.

Frequently I celebrate Mass for the retired sisters at the convent near my home and spend some time visiting them. I remain in great admiration of their joy and positive spirit. I also admire how much so many of them are able to accomplish in their retirement. I know, sadly, that it is not always so in many elderly.

One aspect I have notices is that frequently many of the elderly seem depressed. This was again called to my attention by an article not so long ago in the New York Times. Its findings corresponded with my own observations. Some people call these later years the "golden" years, but for so many it simply is not so. Just when one would like to see life become more stable, it usually is marked by much change over which one has no control. For some this can lead to depression, even severe clinical depression. Such depression can go beyond just the normal grieving processes and become disabling, leading to much anxiety and inner insecurity.

Often I ask myself: What can be done to make one's later years more positive? First of all, such depression can be helped through proper diagnosis and medication. All of us have had the same experience of going into a nursing home and observing people who seen to be very intelligent but who are totally withdrawn. Such symptoms must be recognized at once and dealt with. Life does not have to be so negative.

In our American society where everyone is judged by how much money he or she can earn, it is often difficult to see value in the lives of those who cannot do much physically but who serve through their very being. The first value our faith can bring to the situation of the elderly is to see them as of value just by being. They often contribute without their knowing it just through loving dependency, the same way that babies and young children do.

Elderly persons who find themselves in such a condition where the physical contribution seems no longer possible must realize that they are still very precious in God's eyes and thus in the church's eyes. There are more ways to contribute than by earning power!

Sometimes I am asked what the specific role of faith should be as one grows older. I cannot say that a deep faith can always prevent deep depressions, but it can be a way of helping to overcome such depression. How often we say to people that everyone is precious in God's eyes. Why should the elderly not say that over and over again? God loves each one of them as much as the babies in the nursery, the seminarians in the seminary, all the children in all the schools, the chief executive officers of all the corporations in the world. Our faith should indicate to everyone, regardless of age, that he or she is precious in God's eyes.

A priest friend whom I admired much began in his old age to become more and more scrupulous, concerned about all his failings and the things he thought he had done wrong in his life. He became more and more depressed and seemed to reiterate over and over again these anxieties of his. It took his abbot to say to him, in an authoritative fashion, that he must put his trust in a loving and forgiving God, that his witness in this regard was so necessary to the younger men in the community. That was years ago. Today I am sure the same advice should be given, but at the same time the abbot would suggest that the medical profession search out any medicine that could also be of help.

Our faith tells us that we have a loving God, one who does not wait passively for us to return but comes out to meet us. I think it would be wise for older people so tormented by scruples to say over and over again: "Thank you, God for loving me so much."

We are all people who have our pride. It is not easy to have others see us slobbering at the mouth or in need of help in other ways that are so embarrassing to our sense of dignity. How do we handle that one to avoid depression? I am sure our faith can help to give us a sense of humor. We have to love our body too - St. Francis knew that - even if he referred to it as his donkey.

I am convinced that as we get older we need a greater sense of humor. We forget things, we repeat ourselves, we get totally confused. That is reason enough to give anyone a deep depression. How much better it is to laugh at ourselves. Everyone has these "senior moments." (For some they start with childhood.) Laughing at ourselves can also be a sign of deep faith. God laughs with us. God is never embarrassed by out foibles. Just keep smiling. Think how much pleasure our confused ways can give others, especially as they tell the story of our forgetfulness, even if elaborated. We bring joy where we least expect.

The years will be golden if we learn to grow old graciously, with trust that God is faithful and will never be wanting or lacking in love. Does anything else, then, really matter?

Reprinted, with permission, from the October 7, 1999 edition of the Catholic Hearld of the Archdiscese of Milwaukee.